CDLC: Air Supply - All Out of Love

Here it is, in all its glory:



This masterpiece was first inflicted upon the world in 1980 by accomplished schlockmeisters Air Supply. (Yes, they're still touring. Dude, tan leather pants do not a rocker make.)

Anyway, the song was frequently (and rather optimistically) lumped into the category of 'soft rock', but it really should be classified as 'Puke Pop' - stuff that elicits the gag reflex. The only good thing I can say about their music is that it was strong on melody. They all kind of sound the same, though (Dave Matthews, anyone?) and their lyrics are among the worst I've ever heard, rivalling the depths plumbed by Leo Sayer

Let's review, shall we?

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts

Dude, get your head off the phone. It’s probably going to leave a welt.

I know you hurt too

What, you’re BOTH lying with your heads on the phone?

But what else can we do
Tormented and torn apart

You mean, what else can you do besides lying on household electronics until it hurts? See, you're tormented because you're lying there...never mind. Here, let me help. You might buy a plane ticket and go visit.

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life feels so low
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

This is the sort of amateurish, hack writing that really pisses me off. They throw in words to make the lines scan, changing the POV, and personalizing life and the day. For instance, they might have said “For times when I feel so low” and “When today I don’t really know”. Both those rewritten lines still scan properly, and they actually make sense.

Anyway, the chorus is where the prison-jumpsuit-wearing, perm-gone-wrong midget jumps in:

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

So, riddle me this,Batman.
If he's all out of love, why does he want this person back?

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from this long lonely night

Presumably he’s singing to someone like Fabio who could swoop down and carry him off

I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too

When you grope someone under a table, their facial expression should give you a clue.

And what would you say if I called on you now
And said that I can't hold on

In other words, “Stop moving. I keep losing my grip."

There's no easy way, it gets harder each day

Er... (can't touch this...)

Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

That’s it. Wimp. He’s a needy, whiny, complaining wimp

Weeeeeeeellllllllll..........

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong


ad infinitum et nauseum

Damn, I hate this group.